


heart to break

by hyuckwei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Age Difference, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Neighbors, No Underage Sex, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, lapslock, minor taeten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 17:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckwei/pseuds/hyuckwei
Summary: jaehyun was only 14 when he realized he was in love with the boy next door.





	heart to break

**Author's Note:**

> hi! a few things before we start; there is a 5 year age gap between jaeyong, there will be no underage smut but there will be smut later, this was inspired by a chanbaek fic with a similar concept but with jaeyong and with my own take on the concept, besides all that, enjoy!

jaehyun wasn’t normal. at least, that was what he thought of himself since he was 11.

dongyoung asked jaehyun on the fourth to last day of 5th grade, with sticky, cherry juice running down the side of his hand as the younger was minding his own business: 

“what’s up with you? you haven’t talked about a single girl or chased them around the field at all this year as much as you did last year.” 

dongyoung, along with every other boy in their grade and below, had a weird obsession with chasing girls around the field to show them their affections. jaehyun did once too. 

instead, he shrugged at dongyoung’s question, taking a bite of his own popsicle—_blue raspberry_—stating that girls these days had cooties but he thought wendy from the class 3 was cute.

that was it though.

dongyoung dropped the conversation, instead dipping into another topic of the new episode of an anime they had both been keeping up with coming out that week. jaehyun could only half-heartedly keep up with the excitement as his mind was preoccupied by something, or _someone_, else.

taeyong had moved into the vacant house beside jaehyun’s own earlier that week. jaehyun was in his room playing ‘just dance’ when he suddenly heard the roar of an engine outside his opened window. he paused the game, his ears perking up in curiosity at the engine hissing to a stop. 

he peeked out the window.

a moving truck was parked in the empty house besides jaehyuns. jaehyun could only excitedly think, _new neighbors_. then he prayed that the new neighbors had a son his age, even younger would be fine. he doesn’t mind younger kids. he just wants another friend close to him besides dongyoung.

he watched as a middle-aged couple exited the moving truck with exhausted smiles on their faces, probably tired from packing and moving all their things. jaehyun suddenly felt disappointed when the couple opened the back of the truck to pull out some boxes until the man yelled, 

“taeyong! get your lazy ass out of the truck and help us take out the boxes!” 

jaehyun perked up again, eyes wide when a teenage boy exited the side of the truck, rolling his eyes and mimicking who jaehyun assumed to be his father. the boy, taeyong, was older than him. 

the boy felt small, lowering himself from the windowsill from where he spied on the new neighbors. he studied the older boy, watching taeyong stretch his arms out with a yawn, a sliver of his slim stomach peeking out under his red and black stripped shirt. he had chains hanging from the pockets of his black skinny jeans and wore dirty, white, worn-out converse. 

he had a dangling earring hanging from his ear and his long black hair was covered with a dark red beanie. he was skinny but was clearly somewhat strong as he helped his parents with their boxes. in jaehyun’s honest opinion: his new neighbor was _hot_. 

“wait what?” the boy gasped to himself quietly, ripping his gaze away from the elder boy sitting down to rest his legs on his lawn. he leaned against his bed in shock. this was the first time jaehyun really thought anyone was hot. not even his favorite singers taeyeon or boa. they were beautiful, pretty, but jaehyun had never thought of them as hot or anything like that. but come to think of it.. _choi_ _siwon_..

he blushed to himself, mulling over his thoughts of being attracted towards a _boy_, let alone a boy he didn’t even know and was clearly older. he could feel his heart beat wildly thinking of taeyong’s round eyes looking right at him, but he hadn’t noticed his presence from jaehyun’s window at all. jaehyun was grateful for it, because he had no idea how he would act around a boy he thought was hot. 

he groaned into his pillow, annoyed at how he couldn’t talk to anyone about his newfound attraction to his neighbor. because it was weird, not normal to be thinking of another boy like this. every other boy in his class always thought about girls and their long, pretty hair and small faces. none of them ever thought about a _boy’s_ pretty hair. 

even his best friend since kindergarten, dongyoung, always talked about girls when it wasn’t about manhwa or anime. it was just normal for them to talk about chasing girls or giving them an animal shaped eraser from the book fair. he never talked about boys like jaehyun was thinking of. 

his mom wouldn’t understand him anyways so there was no point.

jaehyun huffed in frustration, he couldn’t tell anyone about his newfound attraction to a boy! he peeked out over the window again to catch another glimpse of taeyong only to find the teenager already looking at him. 

the young boy almost squealed in embarrassment, taeyong’s eyes widening as if he didn’t expect a kid to pop up from the window. but his bewildered expression melted into a warm, inviting (yet awkward) smile towards a reddened jaehyun. jaehyun only waved quickly before zooming back onto his bed.

in the style of a good 11 year old boy, with a pillow over his head, jaehyun cursed, 

“oh shi— oh crap, crap, crap, i‘m screwed!”

taeyong ended up being the reason why jaehyun believed he was abnormal.

the next day jaehyun found out taeyong was 16 and went to the local high school nearby since he moved in. it was just across from jaehyun’s elementary school. they’d also just moved from korea, like jaehyun had when he was younger. jaehyun’s mom told him that, since she invited his parents over for some coffee in the morning. apparently, she’d asked if taeyong could to pick jaehyun up from school that friday because she had work and taeyong’s parents agreed for him.

jaehyun totally didn’t want to be _that_ kid. he didn’t want taeyong to see him as some snotty nosed kid he had to take care of at all! ms. jung told jaehyun, taeyong didn’t mind at all, it soothed his thoughts for the time being.

fast forward to the last day of school and the first time jaehyun would ever talk to taeyong besides the silent waves from his window. which he’d found out, is across from taeyong’s room. which meant he could spy on taeyong from his room. but jaehyun hadn’t tried it out of fear of taeyong backing out of walking jaehyun home with him. 

“but what does HAGS mean? is that like, an insult?” dongyoung animatedly talked to jaehyun, showing him some of the messages other kids had written in the yearbook at the end of the school day. he didn’t seem so sad for school to finally be out, he’d see jaehyun over the summer like he always did anyway.

“aren’t HAGS old women?” jaehyun pondered, rubbing his chin in thought at the messy red marker. 

suddenly a new voice spoke up,

“it means have a great summer.”

jaehyun and dongyoung looked up. jaehyun froze, _crap crap crap crap. _taeyong, in all his five foot six glory was standing there with a smile. _he had a dimple— _jaehyun had completely forgotten his newfound crush was going to pick him up today!

“oh.. who are you? what’s a highschooler doing here?” dongyoung curiously asked, hiding himself slightly behind jaehyun because despite his cold looking exterior, he was pretty shy. 

“i’m taeyong, um, _jeffrey’s_ new neighbor ah,” he looked at jaehyun with a crooked smile, switching back to their native language to speak to the young boy more comfortably (he didn’t know dongyoung could speak korean), “your mom asked me to pick you up because she had to work later today. it’s nice to properly meet you.” taeyong stuck his hand out politely towards jaehyun, who was still blushing hard and shook his hand. 

“cool..” jaehyun puffed his cheeks out, quickly letting go but taeyong didn’t notice anything strange, “i’ll see you later dons.. bye!” 

taeyong gave a quick wave to the child before taking jaehyun’s hand in his to cross the street like a responsible elder, much to jaehyun’s flustered response. 

dongyoung solemnly waved back. 

the walk on the way to their street was awkward. of course it was, what did a teenage boy have in common with an upcoming 6th grader. puberty?

“er.. how old are you?” taeyong asked as he kicked a stray rock aside, his hands in his blue jeans. his outfit today contrasted to his gothic outfit from the first time jaehyun had seen him. he wore blue jeans cuffed at the bottom and a white graphic t-shirt. he had a single silver earring on his left ear. jaehyun still thought he was really attractive..

“11,” he replied quietly before quickly adding, “ i’m turning 12 when i start school again..” 

sweaty hands clung to the straps of his backpack. thank god it wasn’t a childish backpack, he had switched it out from a moomin backpack to a plain red one. 

“nice. i’m 16. enjoy your childhood while it lasts, kid.”

_kid_.

jaehyun pouted,

“i’ll do just fine when i’m older! i’m _mature _for my age.”

_too much? did he come off as.. what was the word.. desperate? he was so mature he still needed his mom to walk him back home... stupid jaehyun... _

instead of laughing at the 11 year old calling himself mature, taeyong simply smiled, ruffling the top of jaehyun’s wavy brown hair,

“of course you are!”

when they arrived to jaehyun’s house, jaehyun decided he needed to make a life-changing decision right then and there! he wouldn’t let this chance to be closer to his crush slip away from his hands. 

“um.. do you wanna come over and play some video games?”

taeyong looked surprised. little jaehyun instantly regretted everything. 

_stupid of course he’ll say no! he doesn’t wanna be seen with a kid!_

instead he gave the same infectious smile down at the younger boy. 

“sure. i’ll just do my homework here too in the meanwhile.” 

jaehyun could barely hold back his grin, he had taeyong agree to play video games with him! he was so excited he had almost broken his console on the way downstairs to the living room where taeyong sat skimming through his phone. he looked up upon hearing the pads of jaehyun’s small feet running downstairs.

“what’re we playing?”

“mario kart.”

a competitive smirk spread across taeyong’s face and jaehyun felt his chest contract. 

he would totally never tell taeyong about his crush. ever. 

taeyong was there for his 12th birthday party. despite jaehyun’s protests to not have a party to his mother, she ignored him and invited over all his friends including dongyoung and taeyong. she noticed he and taeyong have been getting along smoothly since the day he picked him up from school.

it had become a natural flow of taeyong coming over at times to do homework and play with jaehyun. he truly had fun with the kid, taking a breather from his stressful teenage life. jaehyun’s crush had grown significantly larger. he couldn’t help but admire the elder boy through his window sometimes as creepy as it sounded, he knew it was kind of creepy.

but sometimes he’d just gaze at him, making sure the boy couldn’t see him, as he bobs his head up and down to music blasting either through his speakers or earphones while he did summer homework. or sometimes he would do his work quietly, having a harsh line on his forehead at times due to a stressful assignment. 

jaehyun would immediately leave his position when taeyong would undress, but he’d come back when he was done, awed at taeyong’s sense of fashion. 

taeyong had become someone jaehyun could confide in besides dongyoung who seemed wary of taeyong at first but slowly, was warming up to him. but jaehyun knew his friend could get jealous easily, though the younger made sure to hang out with them equally.

but taeyong never failed to disappoint, for jaehyun’s 12th birthday he gave him a pair of new earrings. they matched with taeyong lone, hooped silver one he wore on the left of his ear. along with a hand-made bracelet with various colors jaehyun loved. 

the fondness kept growing more and more. 

at 13, jaehyun heard from his mother that taeyong’s parents were divorcing. that his mother had custody of him and his father would leave the house to them.

that was the first period of time jaehyun had ever seen taeyong so upset. but still managed to crack a smile when jaehyun tried his hardest to cheer him up. 

jaehyun then turned 14. taeyong attended a college near their homes, so he could care for his mother. he had finished his classes for the day, playing super smash bros quietly until he suddenly had asked if jaehyun had gotten himself a girlfriend yet.

“aw dude _what_?” jaehyun exclaimed, shoving the elder’s shoulder, his nose scrunching up in disgust, “girls are way out of my brain dude! i have soccer!” 

jaehyun had picked up soccer with johnny the month taeyong was away on a summer getaway with his friends. he’d brought back jaehyun a clay turtle when he came back and heard jaehyun had sprained his knee playing.

“what so you’re dating your soccerball? _lameee_,” taeyong cackled, tickling jaehyun’s stomach lightly.

“of course! she’s the only one for me!”

_you too._

_“_what about you? don’t you have a girlfriend, you’re _old_.” 

_please don’t._

taeyong raised an eyebrow, before uncomfortably leaning back into the couch. 

“uh, no. but i do have someone.”

though jaehyun felt a little empty that day, hearing about taeyong actually having someone he couldn’t blame him. taeyong was beautiful, it would be impossible for him to stay single forever. and jaehyun was still a child in taeyong’s eyes. he wouldn’t feel the same in a million years. 

not when that ‘_someone_’ was taeyong’s age, attractive and was actually kind to jaehyun, so he had no reason to dislike him besides the fact that he was able to kiss taeyong and jaehyun couldn’t. 

“what’s up little dude? how’s it hanging?” ten greeted him with a wide smile when he’d come back from school. they were sitting on taeyong’s doorstep eating some takeout, taeyong greeted him lamely. because he was too busy looking at ten as if he hung all the stars in the night sky. jaehyun could feel his little heart crumble little by little.

jaehyn had met ten only last month when he was about to head down to school, dongyoung would be waiting for him near the bus stop halfway so they could walk together. ten had been waiting outside of taeyong’s doorstep with two helmets on either side of his hips. 

he noticed jaehyun watching him curiously, because he’d never seen this friend of taeyongs before with many metal earrings in his ears. the stranger gave him a welcoming smile but turned away as soon as the front door opened and taeyong was standing there with a surprised look on his face.

“ten? what’re you doing here?”

“taking my lovely boyfriend to school of course!” ten had exclaimed, handing taeyong a helmet and jaehyun had noticed the motorcycle in taeyong’s driveway.

_boyfriend_.

jaehyun felt his whole world collapse around him as he watched ten pull taeyong into a kiss. taeyong had a boyfriend. which meant he was into boys, could share the same thoughts as jaehyun did about liking the same gender. but also meant he still didn’t have a chance and would be stuck with these strong feelings he’s had for taeyong since he was 11. 

taeyong had finally noticed jaehyun standing in his lawn, staring at the scene in front of him with wide eyes. the elder froze, thinking he ruined his little friendship he’s had with jaehyun and the kid would run away from him because he was gay. 

“oh shit, hey jae..” taeyong waved cautiously at the young boy who blankly blinked back at him. jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows, feeling his heart beat so much faster than before when ten looked over at him and clung to taeyong’s side lovingly. taeyong looked nervous, nervous because jaehyun had no idea about taeyong’s sexuality that was commonly frowned upon. but jaehyun honestly could not care less about that.

“hey,” jaehyun simply said, giving him a wobbly, fake smile before walking off towards the bus stop with a bunch of thoughts floating in his head as he saw dongyoung texting away on his phone. 

dongyoung said something. jaehyun didn’t hear. 

all he could hear was the voices in his head freaking out saying,

_‘oh god i’m in love with taeyong. oh god he has a boyfriend.’ _

so here he was, being the third wheel to taeyong and ten while his heart was being mercilessly stomped on. taeyong invited him to come over and eat some junk food, but jaehyun hadn’t expected ten to be there. ten greeted him warmly per usual and made it hard for jaehyun to hate him even if he stole taeyong away from him.

halfway through the night when ten had excused himself to go to the bathroom, taeyong asked jaehyun lowly,

“are you okay with this?”

“what? you and ten?”

of course he wasn’t okay with this. he loved taeyong and wanted to be in ten’s place, but taeyong only loved him as a younger brother. 

taeyong nodded anxiously.

“of course i am, bro!” jaehyun winced at his own overexcitement, “as long as you’re happy it’s cool!”

he lied but he hadn’t lied about being happy as long as taeyong was. because taeyong hadn’t looked this content since his parents divorced, but looked so.. in love and happy when ten had come into his life.

jaehyun couldn’t not be happy for taeyong’s newfound happiness. 

jaehyun’s first year of high school soon rolled around. he and dongyoung were doing their algebra homework together, jaehyun diligently writing down formulas, plugging them in and dongyoung absentmindedly playing around with the hem of his shirt. he kept making quiet, frustrated noises to himself and jaehyun couldn’t concentrate. 

he looked up at the older boy with a frown,

“dude. what’s up, you look like someone stole your xbox or something.” 

“today some girl confessed to me..” dongyoung muttered, looking away from jaehyun sitting up straight and looking at him with wide eyes. 

“what the hell? what did you say? why do you look so weird about it?”

“well.. i said no obviously,” his ears were reddening, “i don’t even know her. plus she looks like she has more experience than me and i haven’t even had my first kiss yet!”

“dude what! you said no because you hadn’t kissed anyone yet?” jaehyun shoved his friend’s shoulder teasingly, but ignoring the itching feeling at the bottom of his heart reminding him that he would reject anyone for taeyong who was happily dating ten, “she could’ve been your first kiss!” 

“high school girls don’t like boys with no experience!” 

“ugh dons this could’ve been my chance to finally get you away from me for once and you reject it!” jaehyun dramatically sighed, tossing aside his worksheet and draping himself across his friend’s lap.

dongyoung gulped. he was blushing hard. 

“well. it’s not like you’ve had your first kiss either.”

“woah, totally uncalled for!” the younger hissed, pinching dongyoung’s side, “how do you know i haven’t? you don’t know my personal life!” 

dongyoung scoffed, “anyone with eyes could see you’re too busy drooling over taeyong instead of noticing anyone else around you!”

jaehyun’s smile dropped almost immediately. he sat up, distancing himself from dongyoung until the boy grabbed his arm. jaehyun could barely look at him in the eye, his body starting to shake anxiously,

“what.. what are you talking about?”

he tried to make it sound like a joke, averting his eyes and grinning loosely but dongyoung knew him better than anyone else. how could he not? dongyoung loved him after all.

and it hurt dongyoung to see his best friend hurting himself with his feelings towards taeyong that could never be returned. it was obvious jaehyun was in love with taeyong from the moment dongyoung had met the man on the final day of fifth grade. jaehyun was always flustered around him, his cheeks would always hold a pink tint to them and he always looked his best around the elder man who painfully saw him as a younger brother. jaehyun would always talk about taeyong, or at least the conversations would include the man one way or another. 

it made dongyoung’s teeth grind in jealousy.

dongyoung remembered how upset jaehyun was the morning his best friend found out about ten. he was zoned out the whole day, barely touched his lunch and looked so heartbroken when dongyoung mentioned taeyong. he knew he tried to get over it, but his best friend still could not get rid of his feelings and pined for taeyong so badly.

dongyoung was determined to make him forget. forget taeyong, forget ten, forget whatever love jaehyun believed he had for taeyong. he could love dongyoung instead. dongyoung would make him happy, hell, dongyoung was actually his _age_. 

the elder boy cupped jaehyun’s chin with his hands, turning his face upwards to get his attention. jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes finally meeting his only to find dongyoung a few inches away from his face. 

the room was dead silent. dongyoung could feel his heart hammer against his chest as jaehyun looked at him with confusion swimming around in his almond eyes. not the love or warmth he’d always gaze at taeyong with. 

“taeyong is so lucky.” he bitterly remarked before leaning in and pecking jaehyun on the lips. 

jaehyun stared at him in horror.

“_bro!_” 

dongyoung left jaehyun’s house with a stinging red cheek. but they both had gotten over it in a week. dongyoung apologized for kissing jaehyun without his permission and taking advantage of his vulnerability.

jaehyun apologized for not returning his feelings. 

jaehyun’s mother sometimes snidely commented about taeyong’s lifestyle. asking jaehyun not to hang around people like taeyong but the boy would always refuse and continued tagging along with taeyong to his errands or chill at his house. 

taeyong had never minded jaehyun’s presence since they’d met, he always appreciated the younger always being there for him. whenever he’s fought with ten, jaehyun was there to cheer him up and play video games to take his mind off of ten. take his mind off of the bridge to adulthood. 

he sighed to himself, running his fingers through his long, black strands of hair. he still kept it somewhat long, reaching the nape of his neck but never longer than that. he looked over his window, yellow light illuminating from jaehyun’s room across from his indicating the younger boy was there. he smiled to himself, jaehyun would always be cooped up in his room reading manhwa if he wasn’t hanging off dongyoung or taeyong during the weekends. 

taeyong never really thought it was weird he’d hang out with a kid like jaehyun so often. well, ten thinks it’s weird, sometimes commenting about how he would spend more time with jaehyun than him—which he’d always rebut saying he’s known the kid for so long he’d grown to see him as a younger brother. ten would scoff before trying to go down on him. 

he always thought jaehyun was the embodiment of the sun, he was eccentric, funny and a lovely kid in general. taeyong had watched him grow up, making sure to set good examples for the young boy he’d used to walk home from school every day. 

when he graduated, he spotted a small jaehyun in the crowd, skipping school to watch taeyong finish a chapter in his life, instead of his parents who neither could attend because they couldn’t stand the thought of being near each other anymore. jaehyun would outshine them all, being taeyong’s solace.

he always felt a warmth in his chest thinking of his younger friend. 

he didn’t like to rely and lean on the kid too often, but he did credit him for being a positive being in his life. though jaehyun was a teenager now, he wasn’t as rebellious as taeyong was when he was his age. he was less reserved and a lot more of a goofball than taeyong’s emo ass was. 

jaehyun clearly enjoyed being around people, giving all his support and love, especially towards him and dongyoung who, by the way, still has not warmed up to taeyong much. he would catch him glaring at times yet taeyong understood, the pair had been best friends all their lives and jaehyun almost always preferred to be around taeyong more. 

not that he could complain, he liked jaehyun. then he made room for ten who was also a positive for taeyong, despite his.. _jealousy_ towards jaehyun. taeyong shook his head just thinking of it, they’d fought way too many times on how ten would talk about jaehyun or taeyong’s relationship with the kid. who was 15 and taeyong was about to turn 20. 

taeyong glanced over at the windowsill one last time, smiling watching jaehyun’s figure through the window before closing the blinds. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! leave a kudos or comments please to encourage me to update ahah<3


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